Day 10 and 11: Leave it All on the Court

Due to the fact that we have totally exhausted our children, both physically and emotionally, I (Patrick) will be writing again tonight. So I have to cover days 10 and 11. I was just told "you don't have to go into as much detail though". I think that is a nice way of saying "you write waaay too much. I guess not everybody enjoys a 9 page xmas letter. Anyhow, here we go.

Day 10, Magic Kingdom again. I have run out of ways to express how miserable the conditions are here. I am a huge fan of Naked and Afraid. I don't even think they would put somebody in this environment. It is like somebody is constantly wiping up the entire state with a wet rag. And then around 3 or 4 they wring it back out, sweat, swamp water and all.  Whatever, we made it to the park at opening (again), but this time we were wise enough to take a break mid day to cool off (even the pools here are hot from the oppressive climate) and nap. This was the smartest thing we have done the whole trip. It paid off when we all got to stay up late for "Extra Magic Hours" after the fireworks. We were able to hit up the log ride and mine ride (not their real names, but I could never get them right). It was an awesome night. We took the boat home and fell fast asleep with dreams of Epcot's mysterious whimsical, knowledge-filled, delights dancing in our heads.

There is no nice way to say this. I know that a bunch of you guys are HUGE disney fans and a handful of you really like Epcot. Some of you even PLAN trips there. If you are those people, stop reading. Epcot sucks. I don't even know what to call it because "amusement park" gives it way too much credit.

To be fair, we were all pretty tired and worn out from that free "extra magic" the night before. Nobody was in a great mood. But it certainly wasn't helped when we got off the bus to find out that it was like the science fair meets multicultural awareness training. I am pretty sure the whole thing is Walt's idea of a prank. The place has no identity. What are you trying to be? Fun? Educational? You are trying for both and succeeding at neither.

There were a couple cool things. The Disney shorts was cool. But it was a movie theater with 3D glasses. Then there was this other ride that was basically a centrifuge where they warned you for 20 minutes in line about how you should not ride if you are claustrophobic or afraid of movement. Honestly, waiting in line was scarier than the ride.

One of the bonuses was that we got to have a delightful dinner in an aquarium. Of course, we are at the end of a two week vacation, so I spent the entire dinner yelling at my children. We don't make fart noises at the table. We don't say poop at the table. We don't dance in the aisle. We sit on our bottom. We don't make armpit farts at the table. We don't hit. We don't don't make fart noises. Then Molly got lost in the bathroom and couldn't find her way out. It may have been the funniest part of the day here. The giant group of fish behind us during dessert reminded me that school is almost back in session. I pointed that out to Hattie and she loved it.

We briefly dabbled in the "Tour the World" part of Epcot. From what I could see from China, Mexico and Germany (because of course THOSE are the countries you put together) it is a nightmarish hell of gift shops with a couple of cool things hidden behind some of the overpriced trinkets. We found a cool gondola ride in Mexico (super appropo). Once in Germany, we tried to snack on pretzels. They were bigger than our heads. Reminds me of those wacky Germans. Epcot seemed to really like to give you a civics lesson on each country while playing up any possible stereotype. I was hoping to make it to Ireland to play hot potato, but I heard they ran out and closed it down.

Skip Epcot.

At the end of the day we came back to a delightful evening in the pool. This was followed up by the fireworks on the beach at our campground. An awesome way to view them, in my opinion. You get a beach chair, you can drink, and you are already home. We even made it back for one more dip in the pool. This seemed to be enough to perk the kids up enough to have perhaps forgotten all the yelling.

I am told by my editor, that there were some cool parts. The bike ride home in the pouring rain was fun. The 5 senses thing was cute. There was a boat ride (seriously... what is it with Walt and boats? Everything is a boat ride) through a greenhouse. Frozen was cool. I hear the kids dig Frozen these days. Perhaps if we had not just spent two full days in Disney doing actual cool stuff we would not have been so underwhelmed. We decided that Maguires are a tough crowd to please. I know that I come off as super negative, but this really has been a wonderful trip. We have talked about when we should do it again. It probably won't be for a couple of years, but I think there is still some magic left for us here. When we do come back, I promise you it won't be in August. But most importantly, we will make more memories like the ones we made this summer. And that was the best part.


Oh, the magic.  Tomorrow we start the march home. Wish us luck.

***Last edit*** As we sat down to write this, outside our camper in this wonderful site, we heard a VERY large splash in the canal just feet away. There must be some really big fish here in Florida.